Typhoid Mary

It's been confirmed - I am a carrier of disease. After about a 10 second look at my local surgery, the nurse there diagnosed me as bearing the mark of the plague. Well, warts at any rate. In spite of studiously avoiding exposure to infected children at swimming pools (by completely avoiding swimming pools), I've somehow managed to acquire one wart per foot. So it's a long course of salicylic acid and pumice for me, plus extra infection-avoiding counter-measures for C. Great.

In passing, I find that Wikipedia alarmingly tags warts as "benign epithelial tumors" that are "usually self-limiting"; not exactly the most reassuring of descriptions.